Bhutanese gay and lesbian
Filed under News
9 March: Behind the curtains of conventions, homosexuality is fast rearing its controversial head.
Though gay and lesbian relationships are considered a taboo in Bhutan, there is an increasing number of them, thriving behind closed doors.
“I want to be free” says Sengkey, a young man with a normal career and friends. He has the same interests as any other young man except that he is exclusively gay.
“I am not at all shy and embarrassed to be gay, because that is what god has made me and I accept it in bliss,” he adds.
But, unsurprisingly, even the educated lot are mostly ignorant of the existence of gay and lesbian population in Bhutan which comprises people ranging from the young to old and the married.
Leksel, 19, a class XII pass out, is one such person. She has a cropped haircut and is dressed in black half pants, a sleeveless jacket over a hooded sweat shirt and sneakers. To her friends, she is just like any other girl, and additionally, a potential partner.
Leksel has been the “Tom” since her childhood days. She teases girls passing by, and boys were always jealous of her since she had all the beautiful girls vying for her attention.
“I qualified for Gaedu College but since I have to wear kira all the time, I am not going” she said.
Most of the girls are influenced by their “Tom” girlfriends. They copy the “Toms” and some consider it a fashion statement. Most of them feel safer in the society when they behave like boys, since then they won’t invite unsolicited attention from males.
Yangkey, 21, a civil servant, is in a relationship with her girlfriend for the past two years. She does not care what people think about her. But though she does despise hearing awful things behind her back, she wants to continue with her relationship.
Kezang (name changed) said when it came to being lesbian, the illiterate lot were more accommodating than the educated ones, and added that she will settle in the east with her partner because people there are more welcoming.
Research has revealed that most gay people are bisexual as they need a female partner to keep up appearances. The gay community is guarded and secretive as the society is more open towards lesbians than gays.
Tashu, a friend of a lesbian, says, “At first I was shocked to see lesbians and felt really funny, but at the same time it was sweet seeing them loving each other so much, which we can’t always expect from boys”.
He added that all they need is encouragement from both their friends and family.
“Our country is becoming like the western countries. It’s sad to see people acting like this,” says Lopen Dorji, a monk.
“But if they are happy, who are we to say anything? It is known as Tsen Negh Ma Nee (people consisting of opposite characters) in Buddhist text.”
Tobgay Jordan, a student, feels that may be a reason for increasing suicides, drug addiction and frustration is because gays and lesbians are not considered normal.
“We should support them and if given civil rights, everyone will want them” he says.
One lesbian said that being a “Tom” is accepted by parents as harmless, but what they would not accept is their daughter having a relationship with the same sex.
“I was bashed up by my girlfriend’s brother, when he knew that we are in a relationship but for me, it is not a problem, because I know that my girlfriend loves me a lot” says Sonam, a class XII pass-out.
According to Aap Karma, a villager, people have started adopting western culture in the name of modernization.
“It’s due to their previous life’s sin (tse nye mayi lae) so one can have no control over it. But to see one of them in reality would be a surprise for me.”
According to Bhutanese observers, 20-25% of the Bhutanese population comprises gays and lesbians.
“Let’s not live in the prehistoric ages and accept what is in the present,” said Purna, a graduate.
“Every individual is born free with individual rights, so they have the right to lead their lives their way,” says Lobzang, a school teacher.
One “Tom” said that the only kira she wears is her school uniform, while it is always gho and pants while out of school.
In another case, Leki, a “Tom,” was not willing to talk openly about herself, since she is fed up of people asking the same questions.
Gays and lesbians are found mostly in hostels, school and places where the crowds are big.
Ugyen, a student, said that there are many lesbians in her hostel.
“I really feel disgusted seeing them. We have tried to make them understand but they never listen. They don’t even heed the matron.”
The majority of the people whom BHUTAN TODAY interviewed shared the view that it is about time to accept lesbians and gays in Bhutanese society.
Source: Bhutan Today
